Friday, March 15, 2013

I don't miss...

taking the train into Boston every single day to go to work. I prefer to see Boston in the light I see it in now - as a day of fun, exploring, or a night time frolick through back bay after going to see the Boston Pops.

I don't miss being lonely, but sometimes I miss the alone time - It's ironic but back before I met my husband, I was alone almost all the time and I hated it. Yet, now, that type of time is a far and few between. When I go get it now, I love it! You can't get much more ironic than that, Alanis! (Don't you think?)

Getting married and having a family has completely changed my perception and my attitude grows in a positive way as i get older. So, I don't miss some of the time I wasted wishing things were different. Instead, I relish in the present and look forward to more good days!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Where I Belong

Sometimes I wonder between my past and present lives, where exactly do I fall in the whole scheme of life.
Where am I supposed to be? The crossroad I stand in is made up of the smooth versus the gravelly. The smooth is where I was 20 some odd years ago, I just didn't see it. I tended to feel that I was on a dark road. Yes, it was straight, maybe a little too straight, and I wanted to really live alongside the members of the band, The Eagles.
The gravelly road full of tiny little pebbles and big boulders was (or should I say is) the more unknowing way. Life tends to be a lot of stubbing my toes on those big rocks. It smarts, sometimes really hurts when this happens, but later on I realize that things occur to show me how strong I am.

I truly believe that I belong on the harder road as it has helped shape who I am today. Challenges have visited me in many forms, and for many of those challenges I see something sweeter at the end once I've dived in head first and dug my way through to find the sweetness.

Sometimes this conversation goes on in my head, where am I going? where have I been? and am I where I should be?
This very tough yet tender gal is going towards that giant formation of strength. Moving forward, loving all those in my life - who also cheer me on, I realize I am where I belong - on a moving treadmill and taking in all that surrounds me - family, friends and my passions.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Online friends - are they the real deal?

So, in the past 12 years or so, a few branches on my friend tree are ones that are 1,000's of miles away. Thanks to the internet, and being in the right place at the right time, I've met three people online, between myspace, my writing life, and my online 'journal'. Now we are all on FB, or have exchanged addresses and become pen pals in one way or another.
It's ironic that even though we've never met in person and sealed the friendship deal(at least in some opinions), that I consider these people to be good friends.
They all live in the same area of the country, so someday I'd like to make it to the vicinity of New Orleans, the Mississippi, and the corner of Missouri.
The first I met was D(not using real names - to protect the innocent(or maybe not so innocent), who is a writer/editor and she helped me with my writing. She saw potential in me and I want to thank her in person for all she's done for me as an editor and friend. Then I want her to make me one of her home cooked meals that I read about on Facebook now.
Secondly was Nikki, who was also a writer - hmm, i since a trend here. The big reason I fell into like with this person(whether he was or male or female) was that we liked a lot of the same music and he had the job I've always wanted - writing for a paper, and writing more entertainment type stuff versus the boring ol' news.  I should retort with , he was a writer... we've had a long strange trip as friends and he's not writing anymore despite the urging nods I give him to do so. He's been a good friend and knows how to make me laugh -
And then thanks to my D list celebrity crush on Rex Smith, I met Jessie on myspace, and we've gotten to know each other well through phone calls, texting, messaging, letters,... She's funny, interesting, and understanding.
It's like meeting new people at a meeting or a concert or a writers group, and I've known them all long enough to KNOW that they are okay, I've known them a long time. And with the MTV show Catfish I feel like baiting my own hook to finally get into the big pond and forage my way to meet them all. They've been good friends to me(and I hope vice versa) over the years of going through so much. They know more about me than people that I actually get to hang out with, How Ironic! Don't you think?
Online friends can be whatever you want them to be - for me they are my real friends. :)

Knowing Anthony

To know Anthony is to know love.

Ant & I at his Christening if Fall 2009

Before I knew him, I didn't know a thing about Down Syndrome. I didn't know he was carrying an extra chromosome. I didn't know just how much I could love, grow, and learn about pretty much everything.
I didn't know that that 21st chromosome didn't mean the end of the world, if anything it is a whole new realm.

Also, this whole new group of people that have all been so wonderful. This includes their families as well. It's a true blessing to be in this community. 
It's ironic that I didn't know a thing about Anthony John's special gene, and now I feel so full of knowledge and power.
I didn't know how strong I could be until Anthony...