Knowing Anthony

To know Anthony is to know love.

Ant & I at his Christening if Fall 2009

Before I knew him, I didn't know a thing about Down Syndrome. I didn't know he was carrying an extra chromosome. I didn't know just how much I could love, grow, and learn about pretty much everything.
I didn't know that that 21st chromosome didn't mean the end of the world, if anything it is a whole new realm.

Also, this whole new group of people that have all been so wonderful. This includes their families as well. It's a true blessing to be in this community. 
It's ironic that I didn't know a thing about Anthony John's special gene, and now I feel so full of knowledge and power.
I didn't know how strong I could be until Anthony...

Before I became a mom(writing prompt)

I could set this up with a bulleted list of what I knew then versus what I know now. However, I chose to use this writing prompt to get up on a soapbox (I promise not to be too preachy), and reminisce about my life before having my sons. So here it goes...

This picture was taken New Year's Eve, 1991 (I met my husband in May of 92)

Before I became a mom my days started later, (yes, even though my kids do sleep in,they don't sleep until noon time), my nights were longer(thanks to the those lazy days haha.) My life was lonely, though. I can remember waiting for my life to start. I'd spend a lot of time alone, working, reading, watching movies that weren't cartoons - basically a lot of ME time. So, before kids, it was all about me.

My me soiree went on for a long time, however, I don't think I appreciated it then as much as I appreciate my little snippets of time from the mom party. It's ironic - when I had all that time, I wasted much of it, and now, I long for that time - it makes me better as a mom. So, those karaoke nights are crucial to my well being!

Honestly, before I came a mom and wife, I didn't know where my future was going. I don't want to make this a depressing blog. I just didn't see myself going anywhere. Meeting my husband started the ball of life rolling, and rolling, and getting closer to me, much like that giant boulder that chased after Indiana Jones. Once you find happiness of any kind, you just want to keep it up and keep it fresh.

The world before kids was scary, but now I have these little extensions of myself and my hubby, and only clowns and spiders scare me. I worry about my boys instead of worrying what I am doing this weekend or if I'll ever find that perfect job. 
Now I have the perfect job, and I'm the happiest I've been in my life. I have time to fry other fish aside from my family and my home. Everything in the pan is everything I've loved since I was a kid. Before I had kids, everything I wrote was fictional therapy. Now I just relish in the time i have and write whatever is on my mind. Blogging certainly helps.
Before I became the mom I am now, I never knew what great friends I'd have. I was typically a lone or had one really good friend. Now, I have the most wonderful supportive friends who are also moms.

It's all good... Everyday is different but the same in a good way, and before I became a mom, I couldn't say that.

Me with my husband, pre marriage, pre kids, in a Boston nightclub's photo booth.

If Time Stopped(writing prompt)

*Either my writing skill is slipping or my weekly writing prompts are becoming more of a challenge,but I'm up for it. So here it goes...*

When I ponder over the idea of if time stopped and automatically think of Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle". What is the numero uno thing i would do?
Well, if it time stopped, right now, at this moment, I'd be happy. Today started off a little later than most as my three sons all had a delay. My oldest, FT, was promised a ride to the bus stop, and he got it. Just in time for the bus, he safely made it to the end of our street and told me "It's been real, mom." That was a moment were if time had stopped I could just hang in the air with a big smile knowing that I had made my son's day by just giving him a 30 second ride.

If Time had stopped when I woke up, that would not have been so bad as I was the first to wake up at 8:30, yes, 8:30. My children have inherited the "i like to sleep in" gene from me :). From a complete different perspective, the quiet was a beautiful thing. It's almost as if I was a rechargeable battery that was being juiced up.

If time had stopped when my Middle son, TJ, woke up, and had his blanket pulled atop his head so he looked like a Shepard, I'd definitely had scooped it up and placed it my Captain America coffee cup. He was smiley and calm. And what a beautiful although toothless (he lost another tooth last night) smile it was!

If time had stopped when I scooped up my baby, my final child, AJ, that hug would've stuck to me all day like sweet sticky glue. To be stuck together like said glue, would have me wish for time never to start. I could just hold him, feeling those chubby cheeks against my own roundish face, and watch the world, or at least my world, around me.

If time had stopped - with my husband, that might quite possibly be that opportune moment to just be with him ....We tend to take each other for granted, everything but us seems to be on our minds. Embracing, and loving and watching what we've made, My husband and I would just sit back and relish in the the moment.

Being Real (latest writing prompt)

I'm cutting it down to the wire here getting my writing prompt blog in, but the reality is that all my balls are up in the juggling air and I can't be everywhere those darn balls are going to land.

Just sitting here, I sip my English breakfast tea and look out at the light snow falling that will eventually snowball(pun intended) into the Blizzard of 2013. In reality, we are supposed to get over two feet of snow.
Somewhere between the snow, my kids being home all day, and the baking I'll be doing this domestic goddess is keeping it all in perspective and in the moment.

The reality is while I go along with the present moment, my kids are thinking about lunch at breakfast time.
Honestly, I am not sure what to write,  i know my life is a bouquet of wonderful smelling flowers that wilt, and lose petals after awhile. I'm gonna enjoy the beauty of those buds while they are around, but their scent will forever remain with me.


To be real is is truthful, and I'm as real as I'm going to get. I don't always tell the truth, I don't always do the right thing, but part of being human is making mistakes in which I've learned a lot from over the years.

This is as real as it's going to get. Be you, and strive for your best.

Speaking up for Anthony

He's a rock star!

On My little guys' behalf, My Ant, who is a hard working little bug, I Speak Up.

Anthony may not be talking like other kids his age or running around in circles(he tends to walk in circles instead), but he is a person, just like the rest of us. We all run on different circuits, choosing when we want to eat, talk, and laugh. So, in his honor, I say, Anthony, like many other children with the extra chromosome, will be chattering away and dashing around like a Pixar character in his own time. So, please don't ask me when he will talk. Maybe if some people would be quiet for awhile they might hear him say, hi or baba. I understand it's just how many start a conversation, and I'm okay with that.

Having Anthony has opened me up a lot - I do speak up more - and I realize that like us people with any form of special needs/disabilities are people. People are people (and Depeche Mode, I need not quote), and we all want the same thing - to be accepted and to not be judged based on our looks, our lifestyle, and in my Ant's case(and many others), an extra chromosome. They didn't ask for that, yet they do the best with it and are amazing people!

I know this is just how the world is, there are lots of ignorant, mean, and downright nasty people.
So I speak up - to everyone -
Insensitivity and cruelty are more horrible than having an extra chromosome could ever be.
To those who abuse the word "retarded" I speak up - well, mostly those who use the word in a derogatory way, especially those that see nothing wrong with saying it when there is a whole community that is trying to help those with special needs be treated more like the rest of us.

I've spoken my piece and Peace out...

At the end of the day....

I rest, I let my mind and body go limp and hopefully if all went as planned, I have a bit of quiet time to relish in.
Don't get me wrong, I love my time with my children and family, but for me, to be better as a person, but mostly a mom, that last hour of my day is my time to decompress. My boys all understand that about me. Mommy needs a time out but it is a different kind of time out.

Although something else I like to end my day with is to do a scan of my day and wonder what I could have differently to help my children be better people.  The same goes for myself, I think back of the day and wonder why I said or did certain things.

At the end of the day, hockey has wrapped up, or we've just watched a movie, and it's time to rest our heads. We all go to sleep wishing for a better day ahead.

Helping others, jello shots & Walmart

At the moment, I am volunteering at the library. For the most part, I just sit here and babysit used (and many look pretty darn good) books that the Seekonk Public Library sells. There are also movies, games, children's books, puzzles, and magazines up for grabs.
I could spend hours just sitting here and reading. Today, I brought my laptop and am doing some writing.  It's probably not the best thing to be doing, but I am usually texting a friend.

However, when there is someone perusing and asking me questions, I am there for them. For me volunteering/helping others is the equivalent of having a few shots of jello injected with vodka or even a good long walk on a beautiful sunny day. Basically, I feel more alive and good about life when I've made some one else's day. The best part about it is I've not just helped someone but I've given them something you can't put a price on - a smile. : )